Healing Grief

“The conquest of the fear of death is the recovery of life’s joy. One can experience an unconditional affirmation of life only when one has accepted death, not as contrary to life but as an aspect of life.” –Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

I am often asked to recommend books on grief, usually because people know I have written about the journey through grief and about communication with the other side.

Grief is a personal journey, but it is a universal walk filled with emotions, pain, questions, fears, and is a journey most people are forced to take at various times throughout their lives. I have hoped to present in my spiritual writings not only my own spiritual experiences, but those of others in hopes of lending credibility to the belief that consciousness survives the death of the physical body.

Grief may take many forms. As we go through it, we discover that it comes in all shapes and sizes and is capable of doing many things. It will attack us when least expected, may devastate us, immobilize us, shock us, bring up guilt feelings, keep us awake at night, drain us, make us angry, fill us with regret, make us think we are a little crazy, encourage us to withdraw, bring up many fears, make us forgetful, confuse us, bring deep sorrow, tempt us to lose faith. It can also persuade us to lash out at God, question the purpose of our life, depress us, try to take away meaning, make us feel hopeless, make us insecure, discourage us from moving through it, make us reluctant to speak about our feelings, intensify our sexual feelings when we do not want to even think about sex, make us feel powerless, makes us believe we are winning the battle before hurling us backward three steps–and overwhelm us in a variety of other ways.

Grief will have its way with you and me, but we can also learn from it and discover that we can take from it strength, new understandings, courage, peace, contentment, joy, deeper faith, love, empathy, spiritual enlightenment, honesty, deeper and more meaningful relationships, healing, growth, creativity, among many other things.

Grief can come not only from the loss of a loved one, but from the loss of a pet, a divorce, a job, a home, financial loss, relationship challenges, and each of those experiences can bring pain and sorrow, and may require time to emotionally heal.

Here is a list of books that may help on your journey, through grief, in preparation for grief, or for spiritual understanding that live lives on, and "living" can go on.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: On Death and Dying;On Children and Death; Death: The Final Stage of Growth.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler: On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss
John Edward: One Last TimeGuggenheim, Bill, and Judy Guggenheim. Hello From Heaven!C.S. Lewis: A Grief Observed

Marty Tousley: Finding Your Way through Grief: A Guide for the First Year, Second Edition;Children and Pet Loss: A Guide for Helping.Raymond Moody: Life After Life Raymond Moody, with Paul Perry: Reunions;Glimpses of Eternity.
Morse, Melvin, with Paul Perry. Closer to the Light;Transformed by the Light; Parting Visions.
Norman Vincent Peale: The Power of Positive Thinking.Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.: Love, Medicine and Miracles;
Peace, Love and Healing.

James Van Praagh: Talking to Heaven; Reaching to Heaven;
Healing Grief.Linda Pendleton: A Walk Through Grief: Crossing the Bridge Between Worlds; 

Linda Pendleton and Dr. Fred Bader: Expressing Love: Remembering a Life 
Linda Pendleton: Three Principles of Angelic Wisdom
Linda Pendleton: A Loving Presence: Signs and Symbols from Your Angels and Spirit Guides 
Don and Linda Pendleton: To Dance With AngelsLarry Dossey, M.D.: Recovering the Soul: A Scientific and Spiritual Search;Healing Words.

Linda Pendleton: Softly With Love, Communicating with Your Spirit Guides and Angels;
Journey to the Heart: Exploring the World of Spirit and Our Connection to It.

These books should be available through Amzaon.com and Barnes and Noble, and many may be at your local library. Most of the listed books are available in e-book format.

Are there other books that have helped you through grief? If so, please feel free to share.

~Linda

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Alternative thinking about life and death, and the survival of love and consciousness following the release of the physical body, can make grieving and healing the loss of a loved one easier. Be assured you are never alone, always loved, and are connected to all life, including the world of spirit.


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Healing Whispers: Communication
With Your Spirit Guides and Angels by Linda Pendleton

Pet Loss, It Is Real Grief

I put my cat, Snickers to sleep a few days ago. It was a very difficult decision, and one I had put off for several weeks, wanting to avoid grief. Although I knew I could not avoid grief, I was only partly avoiding grief because I was suffering already, and at times, the way Snickers looked at me, I knew he was suffering grief also. He knew, too, that our time together was about to end. All the years we’ve been together, nearly 14 years, I have insisted he was psychic, so how could I now deny he knew?

I have been treating him for kidney disease for more than three years, and during that time he might stabilize for awhile but in the last couple of months he had gone further down hill, dropping weight constantly, barely eating in the last week or so, and was also anemic. He was fourteen and I had him since he was 7 months old.

Pet loss is as real as the grief we suffer when any loved one dies. I know all about grief, I’ve lived it—I write about it. I also know that the loss of a pet (or any new loss for that matter) can bring to the surface past grief. And I was not ready to go there, until ... I knew he was ready ... and that forced me to be ready. He went peacefully, not putting up any kind of argument. It was time.

So I am in grief. I really miss him. I’m not greeted at the door, nor do I see him sitting at the window of my study as I back my car out of the drive, nor do I have him asking for milk or snacks when I go into the kitchen. I find myself commenting on a TV program out loud expecting him to react to my comment as he always did. Now when I go to bed he does not curl up with me, or when I sleep late I do not have his paw gently touching my face, his way of telling me to wake up. I miss his physical presence and hope to feel more of his spiritual presence as soon as I can move through a little of the aloneness. Right now, the grief is blocking those subtle spiritual connections. I feel that, I know that, but the letting go is still difficult. Maybe in a few days it will be easier.

It’s been a week and a half and the tears still come. Yesterday I began looking at kitties up for adoption at the local humane society. But right now, I don’t dare go there in person. And it is raining today, a good reason to stay right here at home.

I know it would be best if I give myself a little more time to grieve. But it hurts. I knew it would. But I know he is free and healthy again. And this time he can run through the tall grass, chase the birds and butterflies, climb the trees, and do the little things he could not do while living in my home. That day when we said our goodbyes, I told him it would be like that for him. And those words of mine calmed him as I held him and I believe gave him comfort and peace.

If you go through grief from the loss of your pet, don’t let anyone tell you: “Oh, what’s the matter with you? It’s just a cat.”—“It’s just a dog.” Obviously and sadly, the person who would say that to you does not understand love, let alone, understand unconditional love.

Today, 15 years ago, my husband, Don Pendleton died. I asked him to greet Snickers (whom he did not know in the physical), and I am sure he did, not only for me, but for Snickers. That is what love is all about.

Grief counselor, Marty Tousley, CNS-BC, FT, writes about grief and pet loss. Listen to an audio interview with her speaking on “Pet Loss: A Different Kind of Grief.” You may also find her website and grief forum helpful, along with her grief healing ecourses, if you, too, are going through difficult times.

~Linda

You may like to read my earlier posts on animal intuition:

The Eyes and Souls of Critters; Animal Intuition

Telepathic Animal Communication