Pet Loss, It Is Real Grief

I put my cat, Snickers to sleep a few days ago. It was a very difficult decision, and one I had put off for several weeks, wanting to avoid grief. Although I knew I could not avoid grief, I was only partly avoiding grief because I was suffering already, and at times, the way Snickers looked at me, I knew he was suffering grief also. He knew, too, that our time together was about to end. All the years we’ve been together, nearly 14 years, I have insisted he was psychic, so how could I now deny he knew?

I have been treating him for kidney disease for more than three years, and during that time he might stabilize for awhile but in the last couple of months he had gone further down hill, dropping weight constantly, barely eating in the last week or so, and was also anemic. He was fourteen and I had him since he was 7 months old.

Pet loss is as real as the grief we suffer when any loved one dies. I know all about grief, I’ve lived it—I write about it. I also know that the loss of a pet (or any new loss for that matter) can bring to the surface past grief. And I was not ready to go there, until ... I knew he was ready ... and that forced me to be ready. He went peacefully, not putting up any kind of argument. It was time.

So I am in grief. I really miss him. I’m not greeted at the door, nor do I see him sitting at the window of my study as I back my car out of the drive, nor do I have him asking for milk or snacks when I go into the kitchen. I find myself commenting on a TV program out loud expecting him to react to my comment as he always did. Now when I go to bed he does not curl up with me, or when I sleep late I do not have his paw gently touching my face, his way of telling me to wake up. I miss his physical presence and hope to feel more of his spiritual presence as soon as I can move through a little of the aloneness. Right now, the grief is blocking those subtle spiritual connections. I feel that, I know that, but the letting go is still difficult. Maybe in a few days it will be easier.

It’s been a week and a half and the tears still come. Yesterday I began looking at kitties up for adoption at the local humane society. But right now, I don’t dare go there in person. And it is raining today, a good reason to stay right here at home.

I know it would be best if I give myself a little more time to grieve. But it hurts. I knew it would. But I know he is free and healthy again. And this time he can run through the tall grass, chase the birds and butterflies, climb the trees, and do the little things he could not do while living in my home. That day when we said our goodbyes, I told him it would be like that for him. And those words of mine calmed him as I held him and I believe gave him comfort and peace.

If you go through grief from the loss of your pet, don’t let anyone tell you: “Oh, what’s the matter with you? It’s just a cat.”—“It’s just a dog.” Obviously and sadly, the person who would say that to you does not understand love, let alone, understand unconditional love.

Today, 15 years ago, my husband, Don Pendleton died. I asked him to greet Snickers (whom he did not know in the physical), and I am sure he did, not only for me, but for Snickers. That is what love is all about.

Grief counselor, Marty Tousley, CNS-BC, FT, writes about grief and pet loss. Listen to an audio interview with her speaking on “Pet Loss: A Different Kind of Grief.” You may also find her website and grief forum helpful, along with her grief healing ecourses, if you, too, are going through difficult times.

~Linda

You may like to read my earlier posts on animal intuition:

The Eyes and Souls of Critters; Animal Intuition

Telepathic Animal Communication

Telepathic Animal Communication

A number of years ago I heard and interview on the radio with telepathic animal communicator, Penelope Smith. At that time, I had my cat, Snickers for a couple of years. I already knew he was psychic and that we had quite a telepathic connection.

When I had to leave Snickers at home for a few days for the first time, as I packed and readied to leave I knew he was upset with me. Four days later when I returned, he was depressed and angry. My friend who had stopped by the house each day to feed him and play for a few minutes found that he was not eating much at all and didn’t want anything to do with her. It took him several hours before he “welcomed” me home.

Just prior to my next trip away, I heard Penelope Smith’s interview and she made a big point of you telling your animal about your trip, that you would be gone a few days but you would return. So this time, I did just that. Explaining and visualizing, as she suggested, that I would return and all would be well.

What a difference that made! As I packed my suitcase Snickers was right there with me, and when I returned home he met me at the front door and was “dancing” with happiness. After that I used that same communication technique whenever I had to leave and I never came home to a depressed cat again.

I got a kick out of Penelope Smith’s story about her chickens in this first video. My son, daughter-in-law and grandson have a few chickens. They had one black chicken that really became a pet. After his passing, they got another black chicken, now grown, and he has really taken Blackie’s place and like Blackie would rather be around people than the other chickens. You can hold him like a cat and he loves to be petted. In fact, if he had his way, he would spend time in their house.

You can read an article I previously wrote “Animal Communication: Animal Smarts or the Gift of Intuition?”

Here is an interview with Penelope Smith.

~Linda

The Eyes and Souls of Critters; Animal Intuition

Is your pet smarter than you?
You may answer the question, “Of course not.” Well, how about giving a little more thought to the question?

Does your behavior change shortly before an earthquake or a tsunami? Studies have shown that often the behavior of animals change—they become agitated, for instance, hours or minutes before an earthquake. Remember the stories of the animals, especially the elephants, who moved quickly to high ground shortly before the horrendous Asian tsunami hit, and some even called out a warning?

Have you known and given a warning when someone close to you is about to have an epileptic seizure?
Have you recognized by scent a cancerous tumor on someone?
Have you ever protected and saved someone in the ocean from a shark attack?
Have you ever saved a life by hitting someone in the chest and knocking them down and jumping on their chest as they were choking on a piece of apple?
Have you ever found yourself in unknown territory a thousand miles from your home and set out to walk your way home, and succeeded?
Have you sat at your front door in anticipation of the arrival in 10 to 30 minutes of a family member, although there was no reason to expect the arrival?

You may not have had these experiences but many animals have. We could call these types of events “animal smarts,” but the more appropriate term would be innate intuition. Intuition is natural, not supernatural; is normal, not paranormal; and is an emotional connection or even a close bond to nature, to animals, and to humans.

Scientific Animal Research

British biologist and author, Rupert Sheldrake has done scientific animal studies and has concluded there seemingly is an emotional bond and connection between pet owners and their pets. The highlight of his study is the anticipatory behavior that indicates dogs know when their owners are about to return home, often by 10 to 30 minutes. This telepathy occurs because of the close bond, an emotional connection, even an emotional need, that binds the sender and receiver. And I would conclude that the role of sender or receiver fluctuates back and forth between owner and animal: a telepathic receiver one time, a telepathic sender the next.


As reported in the Journal of the Society for Psychical Research (July 1998), a telephone survey of 200 households in Northern California conducted by Sheldrake found 132 of the households surveyed had pets. 45% of dog owners claimed their animal knew in advance when a member of the household was on the way home, compared with 37% of cat owners, and around 20% of these pets were said to react more than 10 minutes in advance. The survey indicated 46% of dog owners and 41% of cat owners stated their pets respond to their thoughts or silent commands. Also interesting were findings that more pet owners claimed to have had psychic experiences themselves than non-pet owners. A significantly higher proportion of the psychic pet owners claimed their pets exhibited psychic powers than the non-psychic owners did. The California findings were in close agreement with a previous survey done by Sheldrake in England. Sheldrake writes about his pet studies in his book, Dogs That Know When Their Owners are Coming Home, And Other Unexplained Powers of Animals.

The Gift of Intuition

Our own innate intuition is a valuable asset and can be a guiding force in our daily lives. By enhancing our intuition it appears it may enhance the emotional connection and deep bond we have with our pets. Enhanced intuition increases our ability for telepathic communication. It is a meeting of the minds—a sharing of wisdom—and often by being tuned into your pet, not only will you emotionally feel the unconditional love your pet has for you but you will be more tuned into his needs and desires. It is even possible a telepathic message from your pet could keep you safe from danger.

The Eyes and Souls of Critters

When I was young my family had a cocker spaniel, Paisano. Every week day, a few minutes before my return from school, he would go to the chain link gate and sit patiently awaiting my return. Have you had a pet who did the same?

My cat, Snickers is psychic and I am often amazed by his behavior. Nearly always, his actions tell me that someone may be knocking at my door in the next few minutes. His warning is usually about 15 to 20 minutes ahead of time. At times Snickers positions himself in anticipation a little further away from the front door, nearer my bedroom doorway, with an unrelenting stare at the front door. He apparently feels safer with more distance between him and the front door, in case he finds it necessary to run under my bed and hide until he is comfortable with the person who has arrived at our home. His bond, intuition, and telepathy with me comes out in other ways, also. I'm sure if you have closely observed your pet's actions you have similar stories to tell.

Dogs, cats, rabbits, and even dolphins, are often used for healing, such as in grief therapy, with ill or handicapped children, with those depressed, and for loving companionship, and it is often obvious the animal understands the person's situation and needs.

© Copyright 2007, 2009 by Linda Pendleton

Medium John Edward and My Cat, Snickers

Psychic medium John Edward’s new season began last night on We Network. As always, the show was very good and enjoyable. Following the hour show was a repeat showing. I turned off the television and left my living room for my study. About ten minutes later I heard John Edward's voice coming from my living room. I returned to the living room to see the television on again. My cat Snickers jumped down off the ottoman where the TV remote control was laying. He did look a little guilty....but my question was and is, how did he push those three buttons and turn on the TV again to that channel without messing up the cable, etc.? I’m still puzzled. Did Snickers have help turning it on, or did someone other than my psychic cat turn it on? No one else here at least in the physical sense.

Just now I tried the remote, put equal pressure, actually quite a bit on the top part where the three buttons are, and it did come on OK. But there are other buttons right there including the Mute button. So even if he laid down on it, it sort of seems unlikely it would have turned on the TV, or if it did, things would probably have been messed up. Come to think of it, he has laid on the remote in the past and has not turned the TV either on or off.

And the funny thing is, there have been several humans who have had trouble turning on the TV correctly with that remote. And also, while this was happening last night I was writing a chapter about synchronicity for my new ebook.

And as you know, there are no accidents.

Ahh, the mystery of life.

Linda